When You’re a College Student (Odyssey Article 11)

When You’re a College Student

As Told By Bob’s Burgers

College is the most wonderful and most stressful time in life. You’re stuck between being too young to know what you want and too old to not know where you’re going. However, for most of us, college is where you really find yourself. You challenge yourself, and you grow, and you blossom into a beautiful flower of knowledge and experience with drooping petals of student debt. Alas, you are not the only one. The world is a meadow of broke, flowery friends.

This is life as you know it when you’re a college student.


You bargain with yourself about going to class, and it feels like making deals with the devil.

“Okay, if I go to class today, I get to skip on Thursday… and Friday… and the rest of the semester.”

You can never find a parking spot on campus, so you just drive around in circles for hours like…

Tina Driving

You walk through the rain to class eating mac and cheese because sitting down to eat is completely overrated.

“Who has time for that??”

Linda Eating Cake

You sprint to class because you lost track of time while typing a heated rant on your online class’s discussion board.

“It’s fine.”

Tina Running

You feel like the dumbest smart person in your class because you probably are.

“I can’t even pronounce the title of my textbook…”

Gene I'm Not An Antelope

You always get hopelessly lost in the library.

“Every. Single. Time.”

Gene, Louise, and Tina in Library

You eat stuffing for dinner because you literally have nothing else.

“Help me. I’m poor.”

Linda Hitchhiking

You spend most of your money on alcohol because you don’t have the money, time, or energy to go out with your real friends.

“Just hanging with my best friends Jack, Jim, and Johnny.”

You invest in an industrial-size bag of Pizza Rolls because you’re an adult, and you do what you want.

Linda Dancing

You cry because you don’t know what to do with yourself.

“Because you’re an adult, and you do what you want.”

Linda Crying

You take a nap when you have real responsibilities because adulting sucks.

“I have 3 papers due today, so…”

Gene Sleeping

You get all the free things, but you trade them for your sanity.

“I got free tacos today, but my hair is falling out.”

Louise Eye Twitch

You don’t know how to answer people’s questions about your future because you have no clue what you’re doing with your life.

“Grandma, how am I supposed to find a husband when I can’t even find the motivation to get out of bed?”

Tina Slides Off Chair

You don’t understand how other people have so much fun in college because you lost your will to live.

Tina Laying on the Floor


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